When I started this process, my thought was - I *may* do a show. I never voiced it aloud to anyone that I was not close with or who knew me well that this was my target or goal. I thought, what's the worse case scenerio? I can end up with a good body and be in better physical shape than I was in September, but it could be the start of my goal.
My personality does not allow me to do something half ass. I have to go hard or go home. I am one of those people that needs the accountability tho. If I am accountable to someone or have obligated myself to something, I will follow thru,
As the months have progressed - I have found still that I live within the weeks. Each week is a *new* week. I don't know if the changes in my body are subtle or dramatic. The pictures show the change, but at times, I still have a hard time seeing this change.
I tried on a pair of jeans this weekend. I used to wear a size 8. As I stood at the rack, I grabbed a size 8, (just in case), a size 6 and a size 4. I have long legs which is always a challenge to find long pants. Too my surprise, the size 4 was too big! Holy Shit!! I was disappointed that I left the store with no new jeans, but at the same time, elated that I was a size 4?!? Really?? What is reality when it comes to sizing? Different company's, brands, all fit differently. Reality? I like the size I have gotten to at the moment. I am going to drop more weight before the show - but that will not be a weight that I will be able to stay at - so maybe I am safe to buy new clothes. :)
Looking at the calender I am 12 weeks away from the show, May 18. Today was the day that I have mailed off my entry form and registration for the BCABBA.
Signed, sealed, mailed...there's no turning back now!!
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