With a little help from my friends

What would we do without those special people in our lives?  Do we actually recognize how rich we truly are or what we have in our lives with these people that mean so much to us?  Everyone is so busy in their everyday lives that we may either take for granted or not say *thankyou* for something that a friend may have done for us, no matter how big or small it may be? 

This got me thinking to how grateful I am for these people in  my life and for all the help and direction that they gave to me thru my process of this first phase of this journey.

My diet and posing coach Terri George, my friend and show partner Roberta Cruz-Toews, and my friend and trainer, Blake Venechuk with his daughter, Ava.

Me with my husband.

I'm Back!!

I'm Back!!

My computer is back, which leaves me no excuse not to write.  As it has been a month and a half since my last post, this may be a condensed version of events to be elaborated on in future posts.

I will start by saying ~ I accomplished my goal and competed in my first body building show at the Western Canadians in Kelowna BC on the 18th of May.

My whole process and journey to this point was a positive and motivating one with of course the few exceptions of mental breakdowns and self doubt along the way.  Taking a look at the whole picture from start to finish - I LOVED it!! 

Funny - who would have thought?  Me?  The one that is always concerned about what people think of me, the image that I am trying to portray, and wanting to make everyone else happy.  Hmmm....this time, I did this for me.  I now understand what people mean by this particular sport being a selfish one.  But...I think it also depends on how you look at it.  I compared it to golf.  No one can do this but *you*.  You can't blame anyone for not doing the exercise, or extra cardio that needs to be done.  The amount of food that you are either eating and not supposed to be eating or a treat that you may sneak and not tell anyone. 

You are accountable to yourself and only you.  The end result is the body that you show on the outside with less fat, tight abs, and flattering muscle definition.  On the inside you know that you have done everything up to that point when you stand on stage at that very moment, and smile and show the people -

This is ME!

Today IS a NEW day!!

Today is a NEW day!

Funny how one minute things seem good - our mood is a happy one and some small thing can either happen or set us off - and things change in a second.  My issues are trivial compared to the people in the Boston marathon bombing.  We really need to put things into perspective, however at the time we can make such small things into a mountain.

I had a meltdown yesterday or 'very' close to one.  I was able to hold myself together but all I wanted to do was cry.  All in frustration - I haven't felt like that in a really long time.  It may seem like nothing, but for me it was a huge deal at the time.

I've talked about how I love weights.  They beat me yesterday - and the frustrating part was they should not have - they were only 25lb dumbbells.  I felt they were heavy (laugh at that oxymoron), I had no form, and everyone was pounding thru the reps except for me.  Frustration at its finest!  I felt I couldn't do anything right!  I was cranky to my trainer which is completely unacceptable in my opinion which left me with more of a shitty feeling. I had a good spin class before bootcamp, there was a cardio component at the beginning of bootcamp then weights - it was downhill from there.

I hate to leave a training session feeling like this.  I felt defeated which is not a good feeling.  I did send an apology to my trainer and friend for being an ass and his words of wisdom were 'Don't let such superficial things get to you.  It's not worth the energy'.  Again, hit with a brick and such smart words.

Today is my personal training day - new day, new set of challenges.

Here's to dusting myself off and seeking redemption in the gym!

Onward and upward!

Calipers!

Yesterday was a measurment and photo day.  Funny how before I dreaded the measurements and of course the photos. NOW I am just curious to find out how many milimeters I have lost. But there is a two sided coin to this - Wanting to be optimistic I find I am now having a little self doubt, then I'll have a feeling of excitement over whats to come next. I find that one day I feel great and good about my body then the next day I second guess myself, my muscles, the symmetry and question if I will have the everything that the judges are looking for.   Right now I look at my legs and question whether I will have the muscle development in them?  I know I am supposed to 'trust the process.'  I seem to be able to pull myself out of that self doubt at times by giving myself a kick in the ass. I will often ask Blake for confirmation that I am on the right track.  As I have mentioned before he is one to give a straight up answer - no bullshit!  Again, ' trust the process'!!

My how things have changed since the beginning of this journey.  In the beginning I hated the thought of having to look at the photos and assessing my body - I think more from embarressment and always worried about what other people would think. Now I find I have needed to look at the pictures and see how far I've come.  This is still hard for me - I think in general as women we are never happy and see more flaws than the positives.Blake continually tells me to appreciate the body I have.  I do appreciate it - but will it ever be enough?.  My personality doesnt seem to think so.  I've been told to' look at my body not through it.'  Hmmm that's a thought. also i feel slightly guilty thinking this way as I am healthy when some very close friends are not.

Ok - off that train and on to the next -

Now lets talk about the training.  I've already mentioned I'm loving my training.  I look forward to it.  I've been lucky - it hasn't felt monotonous.  But this past Wednesday was a leg shaping day. That could sum everything up right there.  My legs were slightly tired but...you would think 'leg shaping' would be easy!  Nope!   Trying to concentrate on the individual muscles and do the concentrated exercises - wow!!  Of course lets not leave out the calves , only took me 5 days to recover from that.  Lol...

Am I complaining? Absolutely NOT!  Even tho it was tough - I know these exercises will only help me look the best I can be on stage... besides maybe I can just crawl across the stage.  Lol....

Always up for a challenge!

What size are those?

Throughout this process your size actually changes - go figure!!   This may sound crazy but it does... lol...you may or may not see it - until the pants get baggier, the shirts are super loose and your bra looks empty.

The reality hits when you try to buy clothes. Holding up a pair of pants or looking at a size medium and realizing it will be too big.  I think I now understand when people loose exorbitant amounts of excess weight and have trouble seeing themselves in a smaller size.  I am having a problem with this, especially with the pictures taken by the camera - it is so hard to see the change that I know is there.  At times I get a fleeting glimpse, and once again Blake likes to give me a bad time for not *getting excited* over it - another topic for another blog.

This weekend I was just out shopping at our superstore. They have reasonable workout gear. I came into this same sizing problem.  Holding up a medium shirt, realizing how large it would be, I had to go into a small.  And the shorts, well, I bought the wrong size, after deciding the small was going to be a little tight, I thought that would do for the next few weeks. Wrong - I should have bought an EXTRA small.

There is a point to all this ~ again, it would be so nice to go and shop for clothes, other than workout items.  But....I am frugal, and also realistic - what size am I going to actually be?  It would be fun to shop, BUT...I don't want to buy some nice things, only to be able to wear them for a month or two.  Now at the same time, I do not plan on going back to the weight I was at when I started this process.  So for now, I stay in my stretchy pants that I have to pull up every time I walk; and enjoy my new workout top or shorts that I *treat* myself to.

Epiphany #452

I'm working into week 5 of this journey, who would have thought when I started this I was talking about *week 2* of the process and now I find myself starting the countdown with 5 weeks to go.  Who would have thought? It already seems like it has gone by so fast when I think about it.  I've read and tried to digest information that I have found on the internet, watched You Tube videos, and I am sure driven my trainer, Blake crazy with all sorts of questions, and texts.  I've tried to absorb what I can like a sponge.  Nothing really comes into perspective until I have my 'Blake Day' www.totalbodydelopment.ca
which by now you probably know as my Wednesday personal training day. I have so much respect for this man not only as my trainer but as my friend. He is a ' shoot from the hip' guy that tells it like it is, he speaks his mind but has a way of 'calling me out' on different things in conversation. (Not many people do this - I admire this in people that do)  Some of those 'aha moments', that make you think about the conversation after the fact and make you really take a look at yourself, where you are and how far you have come.

As my trainer, I have a trust in him that he will do and have me do what he believes is best for me during this process to get me to where I need to be. With having never done this before I find the hard part is trying not to put the *horse before the cart*.  Inquiring minds always want to know!  I believe I have gained a great friendship throughout this journey. Again contrary to what I have read in regards to some horror stories about personal trainers, and what they would have their clients do at the expense to their health.  Blake is all about communication, discussing how I will feel after this particular show is over and where I see my body after.  He has been very direct in stating not expect to stay at show weight.  A few months ago he told me I needed to think about where I would like my body to be at and what a reasonable and healthy weight would be for me. I admire this in him as a trainer, communication is the key.  He is all about the health and everyday living and mobility as well.

This now evolves into another conversation we had in regards to my training. This whole process has been enjoyable! Yes!! You heard me- I've loved doing it. I haven't had an issue with the the dieting as of yet.  I have eaten more than I used to eat, so I actually feel that I have been eating healthy and clean, and frequently.  I have noticed peoples comments in relation to food. They question whether I am eating? They are curious if I am starving? I know I am hearing more comments about being *thin*; this leads me to think, *Was I really FAT before*??  I admit, today being one of them, I have felt hungrier - could it be that my body is burning more energy?  Yes I have been doing double cardio, but even that hasn't gotten monotonous.  Our discussion led to the point that it might be because I have had variety - spin, bootcamp, personal training, karate, and yes the cardio, and I have used a variety of machines too. So it hasn't been a *boring* regime.  Again, Type A personality, a creature of habit, routine??  Hmm...

I will admit after all this being said, I do go between wondering, "what is next", and "anticipating" what I will look like in 5 weeks time.  All at the same time trying to remember Blakes' advice - enjoy the process - its going to go by so quick.

I'm trying!!  And I AM!

Posing pictures

Side, Back and Front poses - pictures taken March 25th, 2013
Slightly different from the first pictures I posted.  What a change!!

Enjoying the journey...

I have to start by saying that my computer had to go to the computer doctor to be fixed and thats' why I have been negligent in blogging weekly as was my original goal.

Epiphany's are happening and coming to me more frequently as I am in the final run before the show.  I believe we are now at about 7 weeks away?  I'm feeling good. My body seems to be responding.  So much so that Blake gave me a weekend off last week.  I was a little concerned, but as he said,  I have become very lean; my body needed the rest.  So, instead of cardio and weights it was yoga, hot tub and deep tissue massage.   I've had the odd day of self doubt but having the caliper test and finding out I had lost 10 ml of fat in a week helped along with the posing class I did on Sunday.  Posing class has been so beneficial and is so important.  I wanted to know that I was practicing the right way, not the wrong way.  Posing is all about showing off the hard work that you have done, but making it look as natural as possible while having everything flexed.  My posing coach Terri is very encouraging as well.

My food and diet have not changed as of yet. I keep anticipating a change, but as long as my body keeps responding to everything than it will remain the way it is.  Am I hungry?  Yes, some days more than others, but I am definitely NOT starving.

I'm now finding that people who have not seen me in a while are a little shocked or comment on how skinny I am.  I still find it odd, as I don't see that in myself.  I do now that there is a definite change in my body - another epiphany, as I realize out of the blue, there is no roll of fat at my belly button.  It seems to have just disappeared   Believe me, I am glad to see it leave!

Blake is always telling me that I have to appreciate how far I have come, and the milestones that I have accomplished during this journey towards the show. I completed a half marathon.  WTF!!  Who would have thought?? I am appreciative; but it does boggle my mind to think where my mindset was before.  I have been very lucky to have a trainer like Blake.  A no nonsense type of guy that tells it like it is, and there is no sugar coating anything.  He holds you accountable and lays it all on the line. I've gained a great friendship out of all this - another epiphany.  To think I once told my son, that Personal Training wasn't a real job.  I am definitely eating crow on that one and actually have apologized to my friend for ever having had a thought like that.

My attitude has changed once again after re-evaluating how far I have come, what I am doing and the direction I am going.  I'm enjoying the process. I love going to the gym, each time I'm there I am trying to visualize what muscles I am working and training.  My personal training sessions now are all about shaping, defining, and toning the muscles.

In between gym time now, I now need to think about the *presentation* of being on stage.  This is everything to makeup, suit, and all the necessities that we need to have with us backstage.  Terri of course has given me a list, but I have been researching on the internet as well.  We have also decided I will need hair extensions. (not cheap)  Some more research and a trip to the states will probably be in order as they are much cheaper down there.  Keeping in mind there is not alot of time either.

I have been asked if I have thought about what *post-show Annette* will do.  I haven't thought it thru very much yet.  I still feel it will be a big discussion with my trainer and myself.  All this work, just to do one show?  Hmmm....what's next?  It will have to be another goal of some kind.  Get my 2nd degree in Shotokan.  Possibly,  Continue training - absolutely!!  Keeping healthy and fit?  That's a no-brainer!!

So little time ~

I realized the date today - and time seems to be flying by.  I live in *weeks*; not months, or a year from now, or even just three months from now, but weeks.  10 weeks away from the Western Canadian Bodybuilding show!  Wow!!  10 weeks to some might seem like forever, if you are leaving on a much anticipated trip - to me - 10 weeks; really?  That's all I have to get my body in the shape it needs to be in for this competition?  I don't plan on stopping once this competition is complete, but one step at a time.

I realized that I had not kept up on my current plan of weekly reports, as I had originally planned.  So, let's see what I can recap for not only myself but for anyone else who may be reading this or interested.

Yesterday - I had my caliper test done as I think we may be doing this more frequently as the show comes closer.  Again, results showed that I am where I should be.  I don't know if you would call it fear, or concern, but there is always the nagging question at the back of your head will I be ready?  Am I doing what I should be doing?  I just need to trust my trainer - which I do.  I have been told that right up to the day of, it is normal to question and think that way with your first show.

I am back to doing the double cardio now and my diet has not changed as of yet.  I am waiting as I know it will be coming shortly.  My energy is good still - some days depending on the workout day from the day before I can be a little tired, but overall I would say that my body has adapted well, or I am just in denial.  lol...with exception of sitting down at the end of the night - not too long and my bed definitely looks better than the couch!

I have been practicing my posing everyday and walking around in the *glass slippers* on the weekends.  I find during the week by the time I get home, I have run out of time.  I will be getting together with my coach for posing on Sunday and am looking forward to her seeing what I have done so far, so that she can adjust and correct what needs to be worked on.  Nothing is worse than practicing something the wrong way.

Peoples' comments have been all over the place - either telling me they have lost weight to get me to say that I have, to people just asking what I do for fitness, to people coming back into my business to ask me if I have lost weight.  Is it more noticeable over the last two weeks since I have started back to the double cardio?  My husband thinks I am too skinny - but remember that I am doing this the healthy way, I am eating lots and exercising.  This will not be a maintainable weight for me by the time I am stepping on the stage.  The goal is to be as lean as possible but still show the muscles and not be skin and bones.

My son gave me two great compliments - which out of everything meant the world to me.  He saw me one day, commented on my arms and then told me he was proud of me.  Wow!!  Just what I wanted!!  Today he sent me a text about a picture my trainer had posted on Facebook showing my back, telling me to keep up the good work!  No better feeling than to have your kids say they are proud of you!

I paid my monies for hair/makeup/tanning for the show - NOT CHEAP!!  But a better price than some.  I also will need to alot monies for photos, and other incidentals.  Competing is not cheap....but I had budgeted for this.  Thank God I don't have to pay for the posing classes, that some do.

My posing coach will be in touch with the suit lady when we are 6 weeks away from the show to go for a fitting.  That will be another cost just to finish paying for the suit and shoes.

Is this exciting?  At times, yes, at other times....yikes - what did I get myself into?  Am I enjoying it?  You better believe it!!

Obsessed...

In the last two weeks I have become obsessed with You Tube.  I will "You Tube" anything I can on posing for the figure competition.  Any spare time I get, I find that I am searching and looking for whatever tips, secrets, presentation the judges may be looking for.  I have already learned that there seems to be a big difference in presenting in Canada and the States, different ways to stand, and even walk.

I am practicing the posing positions, everyday, multiple times during the day.  When I have time in the evening ~ I squeeze my feet into my glitter topped plastic shoes, and prance around the house trying to find *my swagger*. Trying to get the comfort feeling of walking in these shoes and *make it look natural*.  I LOVE heels and love to dress up,  this is a little different - I will be clad in ONLY the figure bikini and heels, like every other person that is competing.  My personality is the type of *go big or go home*.  I want to get it right, and present well.  Which explains part of my addiction with You Tube.  Confidence has to be projected, and also made to look natural, as if you do this every day.  Walking in the shoes, needs to be as normal as possible and made not to look like you are playing *dress-up*.

There are Front and Back poses, three 1/4 turn poses, and the walk to the back of the stage and forward.  The poses are done single and then grouped with the women in the competition in the particular category.

I have had one posing session, as mentioned previously, but I don't know if this *You Tube* is a good or bad thing.  I am an over thinker.  I need to know *why* things are done a certain way, *analyze* how they are done, and be able to *understand* the concept.  The quarter turns, do I move my foot in the front, and stick the hip out, or do I take a chance and put my foot behind me to turn - and hope I don't fall on stage or lose my balance.  Watching *You Tube* I have seen some girls lose their balance.  You also want to add a *little flair* to make yourself *stand out* in a good way!

I have found with watching these videos as well as practicing that I am anxious to do another posing session , to make sure that I am practicing as I should - so that *posing* is natural.  Just like learning a kata in karate or a certain technique.  You want to practice it the *right way* not the *wrong way*. 

You can have the best physique but poor presentation will not get you anywhere. I guess that's very similar to applying for a job, or meeting someone new, or just life in general....

Presentation is everything!  :)

No turning back...

Well, as of today there is no turning back!!

When I started this process, my thought was - I *may* do a show.  I never voiced it aloud to anyone that I was not close with or who knew me well that this was my target or goal.  I thought, what's the worse case scenerio?  I can end up with a good body and be in better physical shape than I was in September, but it could be the start of my goal.

My personality does not allow me to do something half ass.  I have to go hard or go home.  I am one of those people that needs the accountability tho.  If I am accountable to someone or have obligated myself to something, I will follow thru,

As the months have progressed - I have found still that I live within the weeks.  Each week is a *new* week.    I don't know if the changes in my body are subtle or dramatic.  The pictures show the change, but at times, I still have a hard time seeing this change.

I tried on a pair of jeans this weekend.  I used to wear a size 8.  As I stood at the rack, I grabbed a size 8, (just in case), a size 6 and a size 4.  I have long legs which is always a challenge to find long pants.  Too my surprise, the size 4 was too big!  Holy Shit!!  I was disappointed that I left the store with no new jeans, but at the same time, elated that I was a size 4?!?  Really??  What is reality when it comes to sizing?  Different company's, brands, all fit differently.  Reality? I like the size I have gotten to at the moment.  I am going to drop more weight before the show - but that will not be a weight that I will be able to stay at - so maybe I am safe to buy new clothes.  :)

Looking at the calender I am 12 weeks away from the show, May 18.  Today was the day that I have mailed off my entry form and registration for the BCABBA.

Signed, sealed, mailed...there's no turning back now!!

Recovery week

What a recovery week from the marathon ~ it was interesting how my body reacted.  I thought my recovery and energy were good with exception of the sore leg muscles in certain spots of my legs ~ until I did cardio  My legs were tired, but I persevered, the eliptical helped me with the tightness between my calf and my ankle.  Thanks to rolling out my legs on the roller they were not as sore as I believe they probably would have been.  My hip flexors and IT bands were the tightest but again the rolling pin and roller helped those too.  These are the problem areas that I have a chronic issue with.
Boot camp was a little tougher until the Thursday class.  It was still taxing but I felt that I had recovered better, and by Friday I felt like I was back to my old self.  My eating stayed regimented but it was a chore to do.  For two days after the race, I ate, but actually had to force myself to eat - I wasn't hungry - to the point of feeling nauseous.  But by Friday again, I was definitely hungry, right on schedule!  This was a good thing as we didn't want the marathon exercise to impact the metabolism of my body.

Blake took quick caliper measurements on Wednesday and found that I was up 10 mls in fat.  :(  He wasn't worried about this as he said there could be a lot of factors in this, water retention, having just done the marathon, and he had also reduced my cardio to once a day down from two to give my body a break.
For me the thought of going up 10 mls was painful,  knowing that I was still eating the same and having just ran the marathon and I was still up.  This coming week will be interesting to see where the numbers fall.  Blake told me no weights for Saturday just moderate cardio and as of Sunday I have now started back with my cardio this week as double cardio during the week.  I missed doing my squats and lat pulls; I can't believe I am even admitting that!  I think I know how important it is for my butt to be doing those squats!

This week has been a week of practicing posing in the mirror every chance I get.  Everytime I am in the bathroom, getting ready for work in the morning, walking around the house at night.  I want to make sure that it shows I have been practicing when we do our next posing session.  You tube has been rather interesting as well; however different associations want different poses I have found.

Roberta has given me a sequence from Yoga that will help strengthen and give me the arch that I need to have while standing and posing for how ever long it happens to be I am on stage.  Having the flexibility is crucial.

Sunday evening I filled out and printed out the entry form for the show.  It is signed and in the envelope waiting to be mailed tomorrow.  There will be no turning back...was there even a question of that?  Reading the form was a challenge as there are different catagories and having never done this before it can be a little confusing and overwhelming.  I could either do Figure Only which is done by age, from my understanding, or Figure Open Only which can include a number of ages and possibly heights?  I have decided on doing the Figure Open Only at the encouragement of my trainer - who seems to think I have a good shot at being judged with a larger number of women and placing in the top five.  We shall see....its all in the experience, right??

Bring on Wednesday, measurements, scale and pictures!  Can you believe it - I am curious to see if there are any changes within my body from last month.  I'm sure there are, but again, we are our own worst critics.  I just see the work that needs to be done...

Posing & Suit Fitting Time

Never thought about all the incidentals when I chose to do this figure competition.  I knew there would be costs but I never thought about all the minor details that would need to be looked after.  Rooms booked, registration for show (which I haven't done yet), hair & makeup booked, tanning booked, posing classes and suit fittings and shoes.  I'm sure there will be other things that come up in between now and competition time.

This past Saturday two of those listed above were accomplished.  I can't lie, it was a little exciting. I admit, it takes a lot to get me excited, I try to hold myself in reserve and watch what transpires as not to be disappointed.  But trying on shoes and suits was fun.  Finding the color for the suit that was the right choice for me and seeing all the pictures of all the suits that Colleen has done was amazing. She started sewing in 1999, and started with the professional suits in 2004.  She has made some amazing suits, my mum would have loved to meet this woman!  After seeing what she can do and trying the suits on to get a size that would be right, I will be excited to see my suit when it is finished.  Next fitting will be 6 weeks away from the show.

Posing class was interesting and a little scary.  Scary as it is new to me, and keeping in mind that I will be doing all this in front of a bunch of people that I do not know, and others that I know are in the audience somewhere.  Yikes!!  And of course, one doesn't want to fall on one's face in front of everyone. I must remember to channel my beauty queen walk....lol.....

For posing class I just worked in my regular heels as I had not gotten the fancy clear shoes from Colleen  http://www.suitlady.ca/ .  Posing was interesting, but I could almost relate as I could compare the analogy to karate so that helped, in regards to holding the shoulders and hip placement.  There are four poses in total, quarter turns and a walk.  All this while flexing your muscles, keeping your hands soft, and looking as natural as possible....really?  Well there is the challenge right there, try to show off your body by flexing in the pose, but look natural the whole time.

Working on the posing is crucial as it needs to be polished so it looks natural and soft.  This now means practicing in front of the mirror at least 1/2 an hour a day and walking in the heels to make them feel natural on the feet. Practicing the 1/4 turns to make them smooth adding a little bit of sass to the turns to own it on stage.
I will now be adding this into part of my daily routine as soon as I can get my feet into the shoes, after the marathon I just ran.  My calves are not liking the thought of heels at the moment.  lol....

This week or next will be another caliper test to see where my fat ratio is.  I have had a small break as I am down to one cardio a day at the moment with Sundays off, and weights on Saturdays'.  My diet has remained the same, with exception I was just told that we can not have caffeine   I didn't think I had a problem with this until I had a headache for two days after coming off of what little caffeine I do have.  I haven't found out the reason why no caffeine but I will find out and report back on that one.

Below are the posing pictures from the first session.  Next posing session, skimpier clothing so I have been told.

Never say Never...

Another check mark off the bucket list ~ was this 1/2 marathon ever on the list?  I honestly don't think so.  I have always admired the athletes that can run for miles, and hours and hours and the dedication it takes.  I had just never saw myself doing anything like that.  Well, this weekend I ran the Fort Langley Historic 1/2 marathon which is 21.3 kms.   I ran this for three reasons;
#1 ~ My trainer, the infamous Blake Venechuk of totalbodydevelopment.ca
#2 ~ Peer pressure ~ from my friend whom I work with, I knew she would continue pressuring me until I signed up...
#3 ~ Me, I figured if I had to train anyways, what better way to burn calories (see summary below)

I have and always had the utmost respect and admiration for the athletes that do these marathons ~ and more so now that I have done this one.  I was pleased with my time and my performance.  However, there is still a small part of me that wishes I had done it a little faster.  I know that I ran the hills that people said would be hard, (I didn't find them too bad at all) and at the 10 km mark, I had a personal best time of under an hour so I was happy with that. I can say that I fast walked a minimal of about 10 seconds a couple times but ran the whole thing with one pee break. The day was beautiful, sunny, cool and no rain. The organization of the event seemed fine for me, and the course was well marked.

As for how my body did ~ the last 5 km were a bit of a bugger.  I had started to get a cramp in my calf muscles, and of course my quads and hip flexors were getting tight. I persevered, that finish line was a definite welcome sight. The after effects of the body have now been the reminder of sore calves, tight quads and hamstrings and some fatigue, which I hope diminishes by the end of the week.  I can sit down on the toilet a little easier today than yesterday - so we are making progress.  :)

I had been to dinner with friends the evening before and we were discussing that how we have told all our kids, *You achieved your black belt - you can do anything*...well, as I was running, this thought actually went thru my mind.  *I did my black belt grading which took 19 hours; I sure as hell can do this*!

And that I did!!  I have the medal to prove it!!

Your Weekly Workout Summary 02/11/2013 to 02/17/2013 View Workout History / Stats 1 workouts 0 routes 21.5 total dist. 2.1 hours 9,452 burned 0 friend requests

Countdown really begins....

Wow ~ I was reminded by my sister-in-law that I had been delinquent on my posts, in a round about way.  She told me that she had read my blog, and that made me realize I had one blog sitting in *draft* from January 29th  and the other sitting in *my head*.  Nothing like a *kick in the butt* every now and then, especially when I was trying to write weekly.  Life!!

I feel my training in the last month has been great!  I am really enjoying it....even tho this last week, my legs were sore all week from the bazillion squats my trainer had me do followed by walking lunges.  The thought of strangers looking at my butt is all the motivation that I need to keep moving forward.  In all honesty, not only that, but that is the funniest.  :)

Motivation to keep me on track has been now the 120 day challenge.  This is where we mark our progress at the end of the month to see how many mills of fat we have lost on our bodies.  At the end of 4 months for every two mills lost you get an entry into the ballot box for 3 different prizes.  Great deal all around, get healthier, loose weight and a chance to win, either a trip, private sessions, or classes.

 For me this is just an added bonus as I have to keep accountable to myself as well.  I have committed to this show in May and I have now told people about it as they keep asking me about my body and its changes - so it is definitely full speed ahead.  With that being said, we are now about 16 weeks away!!  Yikes!!

My last weigh-in demonstrated that I had lost 1 pound of fat and *gained* 3/4 of a pound of muscle!  This is good from what I was told.  My weight now sits at 148.6 with 9.6 body fat.  The body fat percentage will drop closer to the show but for the time being Blake does not want me losing anymore body fat.  My cardio has now dropped from twice a day, to once a day, and we have switched up Saturday's to be a weight day - which is squats, and lunges, assisted pullups and chest press.  And....surprise surprise, a day off on Sundays'.  My body is still in a bit of shock.  It is looking for that extra cardio that I have been doing for so long, and on  Sundays' is again feeling like it should be doing something other than the usual chores around the house.  I guess I should enjoy this while I can - I am sure it won't last long.

My trainer is wanting to see how this month progresses with my body and the change in cardio.  The diet is remaining the same at the moment.  Nothing has been cut back or out.  He also has had me looking at figure suits and we have now booked an appointment with the www.suitlady.ca in Langley to discuss suits.

As each week progresses ~ I believe the changes are there.  For me, it is hard to see still see how far I have transformed, but do I like where I have gotten to thus far?  I think I now can say - Yes, yes I do!!  Can't wait to see where I end up.....

September 2012

January 2013

September 2012

January 2013

                                                                    

If we have our health...

I had the opportunity this weekend to surprise a very good friend on her 40th birthday.  Myself and another good friend made the trip via ferry to surprise her mid morning at her front door!  It was a success - and a great surprise for her - she had absolutely no idea we were coming.  Credit has to go to her husband who called and asked if we might make it out for her birthday. It truly was a moment!!

I need to share a few things about my friend.   She is high spirited, speaks her mind, caring, considerate, smart and articulate, and a fabulous mother to her three girls and wife to an adoring husband.  She's one of those people that has an opinion but can choose when to express it or say it like it is.  She is one of those friends that tells it like it is....doesn't bullshit - and gets to the point.  Her and I have a special connection as we became friends thru my business when she was first a customer living in our town. We also graded for our Black Belts in Shotokan Karate together as well as worked together teaching an adrenal stress training program.  For a short time she was employed with me too.  Our friendship is one of those, we may not see each other often as she has moved away and there is a ferry between us. We may not talk on the phone every day, month or six months, but when we see or talk to each other - we pick up where we left off....no accusations or recriminations on who didn't call whom.  This is what true friends are all about.

I give you this explanation as yesterday I saw a different person.  Physically to look at my friend ~ the *regular* acquaintance or person on the street might say, *Wow, you've lost weight*; *You look great, I wish I could do that*, *You must feel so good*, or *Wow, you have three kids*?
Yes my friends' physical appearance could be deceiving for those who do not *know* her.  But for those that know my friend may have noticed some subtle or noticeable changes....

Remember I said she just turned 40!!  She's slower in her movements and speech.  She still articulates well, but struggles to find the right words.  If its a struggle to focus, that seems to exhaust her.  As her friend, I can see how she tries to hide her frustration.  What made me sad was what looked like the sign of defeat in her eyes.  My friend has MS.  Years ago there were symptoms but it was diagnosed as Lupus, another autoimmune disease.  Could it have been MS?    There were signs, unbeknownst to any of us, while she was training in the martial arts, or some of the trips that we went on where her body could not handle the heat, where she had problems with her eyes.  Whether she was trying to be a martyr or just trying to take the focus off of her because there were  too many other things more important - who knows.  She has always been pro-active in what she has done and anything that pertained to her children or family.  To almost see a resignation in her personality was a harsh reality - possibly a depression that she is trying to ignore?  I am not a doctor - I can only assume, and/or guess what these might be.  But knowing my friend - I did see a difference.

I am so glad that I went and had a visit with her.  Selfishly I still go back to my anaology - if we have our health we have everything!!  And Thank God for where I am in my life, I don't have a disease that may take my independence away, make my spirit and drive diminish, and have to deal with the fatigue every day that it is painful to just get dressed in the morning or do my hair.  I worry about my friend ~ at the moment I understand her condition is like peaks and valleys.  There are high days when she can be in remission, and low days when, as she calls it, an episode will flair up and she doesn't know when that will go away.

Looking after ourselves, being pro-active in how we eat and the exercise that we adhere too can only be a proactive choice that we make in our lives.  It all can lie in cards with what we were dealt at birth - why some of us develop a disease there is no cure for or contract an illness that is either untreatable or can be treated.  Choosing to live a healthy lifestyle can only add to the positive side of our quality of life. Living life to the fullest is all that anyone of us can ask for - the question is, *Do we choose to do this*?  *Are we thankful for our health*?  Heaven only knows...if we have our health....we have it all...

For the *love* of the gym....

My son posted this on his Facebook page the day I wrote the title for this next post.  I found it a little ironic that he had posted it on the same day when he knows nothing of my blog.  The statement is really how I could describe my love affair with the gym.  

I have always been committed to working out ~ feeling dedicated but not as consistent as I would like to be with a workout program.  I need and like the accountability that I have to myself and to my trainer and friend.  Being accountable to my trainer may sound silly.  Yes I am paying him for a service ~ but he *brings it* every time!  Pushing me past the limits that I didn't think I could cross over with the energy to keep me motivated each and every time I train.  Whether it be in class format or one on one.  Our relationship has turned into one of mutual respect.  Not only is he my trainer but my friend, a friend that I want to put the work out for and make proud, a friend that has put the work into me. 

During this process I have learned to LOVE the gym again.  LOVE the feel of the burn. LOVE the gratifying feeling that the workout is over, but it was a great workout and I got thru it, completing it.  The LOVE/HATE relationship I still have with those damm burpees!!  LOVE the way I anticipate each workout and challenge that my trainer has set out for me.  LOVE the not so nice feeling of the sweat dripping down my back and off my face. LOVE of the anticipation to do it all over again!!

It's all in the MIND SET...

Here I find myself mid-week; I have not been as diligent in keeping my weekly journal about my journey ~ am I just coasting??

I don't think so ~ in fact I KNOW I AM NOT "coasting"!  At this point in this particular transformation/journey I am not suffering from feeling deprived of anything food or drink related ~ maybe that will change soon?  I have to admit tho ~ I am not a chocolate person, but the thought of a candy bar as I walked by it in the grocery store gave me second thoughts yesterday.  I HAVE cheated ~ much to my guilt  after wards. Guilt in this situation I think can be a good thing ~ and of course its mind control! The discipline NOT to have an extra helping, or have that carbohydrate that is not good for you or that alcohol drink that is full of sugar - discipline, and self-control.  I have had a couple of those small cookies that have Belgium chocolate - the Kirkland Brand.  I want to throw the tin out, but my husband has still been eating them...so....I am hoping that he *secretly* eats them all by the weekend - not in the house, means absolutely no temptation.

Now ~ thinking along those lines, I guess I felt that I could *cheat* a little only because Feb 1, will start to be crunch time - for the month of January my trainer has left everything the same.  Continuation along the same path at the moment.  Double cardio during the week, continuing with the bootcamp and spin classes, and the diet has remained the same as well.  With those perimeters in check, not only do I have the show to focus on as one of my goals, the 120 Day Challenge adds to the flair as well.   There are some great prizes if your name happens to be drawn.  120 Day Challenge consists of every millimeter of fat loss in the month, you get one ballet to enter into the box thru my gym, http://www.totalbodydevelopment.ca/
The prizes consist of first prize, $1000 flight center gift certificate. 2nd prize, 10 or 20 personal training sessions, and 3rd prize is 3 months worth of classes unlimited.  If that isn't motivation to *not cheat* ~ I don't know what is.  The biggest thing in my mind ~ *cheating* cannot be made a habit as *one cheat* can easily turn into 3 or 4 or the whole day.  Mind set is everything!!  Wow ~ did I say that??

It's amazing what tricks our mind can play on us, or what we perceive in ourselves and others.  I have had a very hard time seeing the physical changes in my appearance.  Of course, my clothes don't fit - but its the other details.  The muscles that have developed, the fat loss, the tightening of everything - this is hard for me to see.  This morning I had some different comments from customers that come in all the time.  One lady, *Wow - have you lost weight*?  *How much*?  *Why did I not notice this before*?  Another woman, *Wow - look at your arms, beautiful.  You should do a show*.  What nice compliments and funny just the same.  What people notice and when.  I have figured out with my illiterate computer skills how to do a side by side picture to compare and the change is more noticeable with this documentation.  My personality does not let me see how far I have come, it tells me that we have lots of work to do in a short amount of time.  Now when I look at my son who has put on lots of muscle ~ I can definitely see the change in him,  What we see in others we can not see in ourselves ~ or our minds are not ready for that at that particular time. Just one more thing I am learning thru this process.

As the week and months have progressed ~ I can't wait to get to the gym, I look forward to my meals ~ and my snack at night of berries and greek yogurt is the most gratifying.

                                                       Sept 2, 2012

                                                       Jan. 6, 2013

Happy New Year ~ and so it begins....

Happy New Year!!

Fresh starts, new beginnings, daunting challenges, and 365 days ahead to shoot for whatever mini and large goals one may choose to focus on.

My training resumed January 1st, 2013 after a mandatory 9 day break that I was to do absolutely nothing except hot tub, massage and maybe yoga.  Well, I did one of three.  Yes I was busy - but I just couldn't find the time to do the yoga or sit in the hot tub.  Thinking back, I guess I did the hot tub in the morning, so that counts.  This break solidified for me why it is important that I either join a club, have a pre-determined work out appointment, or have a class I have committed too.  For some it is easy to work out at home; I have no problem working out at home, my problem is finding and seeing everything else that needs to be done while I am at home.  The simple task of setting aside an alloted time for yoga get set aside by the other tasks that are waiting for me in the house.  The concept of paying ahead for something and not getting the service for the payment makes me want to/have to train.  I find while at home, its to easy to quit early, or choose to work out later, and *later* never comes.  I realized this, when I made my appointment for the massage; a commitment and confirmation knowing the massage therapist was waiting for me to show up at the pre-determined time.  Sometimes it was too late to go in the hot tub or I was just lazy and didn't feel like getting changed. As for the yoga; I just couldn't seem to find a *quiet time* to do what I needed to do.  Now if the instructor had been here and I had committed to the class - there would have been no problem at all.

It was interesting having a *mandatory break* and being aware of what my body was doing and why.  I found that my body was almost vibrating.  It was looking for the routine of cardio, or some form of exercise. I actually felt anxious.  I also was aware when I was having more of a hectic day, going to bootcamp or spin helped release that pent up feeling, and I would feel calmer by the end of class.  I did definitely norice a difference in not being able to release any of this extra energy.

My first training week back felt so good!  Even with the *pain of it all*.  It was a good pain.  I had some fatigue in my legs, but the worse came after Fridays, extra personal training session.  I had to do a few exercises I have never done before!!  OMG!!  My muscles told me over the next few days that I hadn't used these particular ones in a while.  Walking up and down the stairs with dumbbells in my hands - holy smokes....then Perfect Pullups.  I could hardly move in bed the next day.  Four days later, I am starting to recover from the aching muscles.  The pain again was a *good sore*.  A soreness that was sore to touch, but not painful that I could never do again.

I had my measurements done this past Wednesday.  Weigh-in and caliper body fat testing.  My body fat total on my body at the moment is 60%, this is the goal that we were trying to attain by the end of December. It went up a couple percent due to my break time.  I did however lose 1 pound, I have broken the 150 barrier, that I couldn't seem to get to before.  149.6, still its under 150.  My understanding is by the time show time arrives I will need to lose at least another 15% of that.  We have just found out the date is May18th, 2013.

At this time, I am to continue with the same routine of both cardio and the eating diet plan.  I am a stickler for routine - so I am ok with this.  The local gym is scheduled to open up in town the middle of the month, and at this time in between Total Body Development training, I will go and take advantage of them to use up the monies I had previously paid and decide after if I choose to stay and train there.

Goals for 2013 ~ are a little pre-determined at the moment.  I have already signed up for a half marathon in Fort Langley in February.   The body-building show in May will be held in Kelowna, and I am hoping to have enough critera and qualifications behind me to go for my next belt in karate.  The beginning of the year has also brought additional challenge which will help with a few other goals.  I have signed up for a 120 day challenge.  For every milimeter of fat we lose we get one ballot in the box for either a $1000.00 flight centre gift certificate.  Or personal training sessions or three months free training at TBD.  These are great prizes, great incentives, and good peer motivation to start the New Year off.

What are your 2013 goals?