Calipers!

Yesterday was a measurment and photo day.  Funny how before I dreaded the measurements and of course the photos. NOW I am just curious to find out how many milimeters I have lost. But there is a two sided coin to this - Wanting to be optimistic I find I am now having a little self doubt, then I'll have a feeling of excitement over whats to come next. I find that one day I feel great and good about my body then the next day I second guess myself, my muscles, the symmetry and question if I will have the everything that the judges are looking for.   Right now I look at my legs and question whether I will have the muscle development in them?  I know I am supposed to 'trust the process.'  I seem to be able to pull myself out of that self doubt at times by giving myself a kick in the ass. I will often ask Blake for confirmation that I am on the right track.  As I have mentioned before he is one to give a straight up answer - no bullshit!  Again, ' trust the process'!!

My how things have changed since the beginning of this journey.  In the beginning I hated the thought of having to look at the photos and assessing my body - I think more from embarressment and always worried about what other people would think. Now I find I have needed to look at the pictures and see how far I've come.  This is still hard for me - I think in general as women we are never happy and see more flaws than the positives.Blake continually tells me to appreciate the body I have.  I do appreciate it - but will it ever be enough?.  My personality doesnt seem to think so.  I've been told to' look at my body not through it.'  Hmmm that's a thought. also i feel slightly guilty thinking this way as I am healthy when some very close friends are not.

Ok - off that train and on to the next -

Now lets talk about the training.  I've already mentioned I'm loving my training.  I look forward to it.  I've been lucky - it hasn't felt monotonous.  But this past Wednesday was a leg shaping day. That could sum everything up right there.  My legs were slightly tired but...you would think 'leg shaping' would be easy!  Nope!   Trying to concentrate on the individual muscles and do the concentrated exercises - wow!!  Of course lets not leave out the calves , only took me 5 days to recover from that.  Lol...

Am I complaining? Absolutely NOT!  Even tho it was tough - I know these exercises will only help me look the best I can be on stage... besides maybe I can just crawl across the stage.  Lol....

Always up for a challenge!